How to not take things personally: the key to freedom

How not to take things personally

It comes a time in our life when to take things personally is a luxury we cannot afford. We have to turn to the power within and separate from other people’s limiting stories. In this process, we find that we have a choice. We can pause and ask ourself: “Does this really relate to me?”

Taking different opinions on board creates confusion 

We all come around different opinions on things which ends up confusing us! It happened to me for sure. One of the last ones was my aunties’ point of view on my body weight! Yes, I had to smile about it. I could see how based on their point of view they had different opinions on the matter. The auntie who always asks me if I eat enough, typically would say that I should eat more. The one who is always concerned with eating too much said I’ve lost some weight lately. Yet another one who is quite neutral around the subject said: “Well, you don’t seems you lost any weight !”. I had to smile on their projections on something which based on the scales can be so objective. Yet nothing is objective in this world! 

We all live in our own world, made of our own beliefs and judgements

Our safe inner world

We create our own safety inner world and hang on to it. Whenever someone questions our beliefs or values, we get upset, try to fight against and prove we are right! If we train enough, we can see that what others say stems from their own limited perspectives. We are surprised to realise that this has nothing to do with us, or with our Truth. These are all projections of their inner story. Defending ourselves then becomes a battle we lose from the get going. Who’s point of view are we trying to defend, anyway?

At times we can get caught up in this idea that other people’s life depend on us and that without us they are lost. But, as usual, we have the choice to let go of this idea that what others do is because of us. When we let go of this unconscious selfish attitude we move towards a life lived with intention. We deeply connect with our truth and find the key to freedom. We have more room to move in our life and take bolder actions.

Here are some benefits of making a strong habit to not take things personally:

  • A freedom to live a life that does not depend on what others think of us
  • Always be honest in our requests and ask for what we need
  • A freedom to say yes or no based on what is truly going within 
  • Letting go of manipulative behaviours that drain our energy 
  • Show up with love and compassion to others, and live in a world of love and compassion 

But, how do you not take things personally? 

There is not even one situation that upsets us that cannot be taken into inventory. Self-introspection is the secret ingredient to spiritual growth. When we reflect on a situation that upsets us, we quickly can identify the limiting beliefs obscuring our vision. We define the dream that we live in and where freedom lies. 

Self-reflection and how to not take things personally

Here is a framework for us to use every time a situation is bothering us! 

Take a piece of paper, select a quiet place and put down on paper the situation that upsets you. Question yourself:

  1. What emotion is this situation bringing up? 
  2. Is there a wound this situation is touching within me? 
  3. Do I have a part in it? 
  4. Is there a lie I am telling myself?
  5. Am I willing to let go of the lie? 

To succeed in the art of not taking things personally we have to develop a strong habit. We have to pause and remind ourselves that whatever others do is none of our business. This is the quickest way to a free life. We will discover that everyone lives in their own world, including our mind. When we remind ourselves about this simple concept, we can choose differently. We can choose to show up to life in a kinder and compassionate way. The dream dissolves and the choice becomes easier to make. There is a level of freedom that lies underneath that goes beyond anything that we will ever know. Let’s tap into that. Let’s not take things personally. 

What will you choose today? 

Make love with life. Don’t take things personally, just for today. Share the article with a friend and ask them to be accountable. Make it a priority to remind yourself that nothing that others say has to do with you! Get in touch if you want to practice together!

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